Shelley 37 of WordPress passed away during a vacation with her husband Steve thirty-nine and Gabe five. They were visiting Jersey Shore she wanted to introduce her son to the Ocean and had never been to the East Coast. During their visit to the shore her son swam out a bit to far in search for “Bikini Bottom” She was able to save him as she handed him off to her husband Steve her feet got caught in an old fish net, before it took her under she told Steve she was so thankful it was her out there instead of the alternative. The cost of coming home without her son was a deadly one.

She was preceded in death by her grandmother Norma and her two boys who were twins Gabe and Will who died shortly after birth.

Lucky To Be Alive, Father Dan (wife Lin), Mother Patty (husband Larry), sibilings by oldest Nate wife (Tabitha)Jeramey, Tim and Jacob

Her funeral will be held at Liberty Island, New York, NY Statue of Liberty National Monument at midnight where we will throw her ashes out into the water from the torch. Before “The Toss” fireworks will light up the night sky and there will be a BANG!

Family · Grandma · love · memories

Million Dollar Night Gown

February 27, 2015November 5, 2015 shelie2711 Comments

As a young girl my grandma helped my dad out a lot on the weekends. When my dad had to work. On Friday’s she would come to get me and my brother.

My grandma was a bit more laid back then my father with getting our way. We’d go shopping for clothes, toys, and out to eat. You know the things most grandmas do?

She always enjoyed having us stay over.

The second you walked into her house it was like walking into a different world. She would greet us with a smile and hug. My childhood troubles would be lifted like a book-bag loaded with seven or eight books at her door. She would ask questions about our lives. What our you working on in school? Do you like your teacher? hows your dad been? I would answer her questions but tell her more about the bullies in my life. She’d quietly waited til I was done talking and tell me she was sorry to hear those things and that she loved me and to her I was special.

All the way up into my late twenties we continued to have a healthy relationship. I would still go over and stay all night. We continued shopping, going out to eat, and taking long drives, especially in the fall to see all the leaves changing colors.

In Illinois we have lots of trees one on top of the other so our falls here are stunning it’s worth the while. Sometimes we would just stay in. Those times were my favorites because we would talk for hours about her past with my grandpa, my future, shed tell me stories about her siblings, and all the places she traveled with her friends George and Dorothy.

During those times around her house my “Grams a Million” would always wear her night-gown. She dressed up to the nines when she went out. The clothes she wore she liked but some of them not so comfortable so if she was home she always had her night-gown on.

The gown was slick and light. They were not attractive at all. She had a million of them in a million different colors. They had a peasant low-cut neck, if you didn’t tie it with the dull drab strings, you could see some of her pale chest. The sleeves were short and airy, they had bolts of red, blue, and purple all over that looked liked streaks of lighting.

The backdrop of the gowns were black which made her blue eyes, pale skin, and short dark hair standout. The gown stopped below her knees. she was short and you could see her skinny white legs. She was always barefoot when she was home. Which I loved. To me it said she wasn’t in a hurry. You could take off your shoes and stay awhile.

Many late evenings when we were lounging around watching the Golden Girls in her night gowns. I sat and watched her rocking in her orange chair. knowing that one day this time would no longer be… Maybe that was odd but its the truth. We have to embrace that our loved ones will not be with us on earth forever.

I am so thankful and blessed for the twenty-eight years we had together.

Shortly after her passing I was able to go over to her house by myself. I walked through the house slowly touching and going over everything she had worked hard for all her. Like I was in a museum of old artifacts listening to her explain all the details of each piece. I thought it would bother me seeing it all packed and piled high.

At the end of my journey picking through things wondering if I should take this or that… With a deep sigh, I walked into her room, opened her drawer full of night-gowns, Anyone would do. She wore them all. I grabbed her old photo albums, laid across her bed, admiring her younger years, and pretending she was there with me.

When I left that day I took her one night-gown with me because it was my Million Dollar Treasure.

Children · Home

The Night Before Last

February 24, 2015March 20, 2015 shelie272 Comments

Gabe was standing in front of the kitchen sink on a chair, full of water, and the faucet on blast. He was dipping a yellow sponge up and down and through the faucet as fast as he could!

Steve: Gabe what are you doing?

Gabe: Dad, I am trying to make Sponge Bob come to life!

Family · Grandma · Home

Cleaning

February 24, 2015March 1, 2015 shelie2712 Comments

Every now and again I deep clean parts of my house and it’s always the kitchen, because it is where I spend most of my time. No, not always cooking and eating!

Steve and I sit at the table in the morning on our days off catching up with one another about the week, we color and often go over Gabes letters and numbers and when my friends come by its usually where we sit in catch up.

When my grandma was living and even in my parents house til this day, like I said before the table has never “caught anything but good food and conversation” this has been an ongoing memory of mine.

One conversation my mind goes back to is a vacation I came back from visiting a childhood friend in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I don’t have a lot of time to go into detail about the vacation right now.

When I got back home I went straight over to “grams” house afterwards and she loved to travel as well, so she fixed us a cup of coffee and sat them down at her kitchen table and told me to tell her all about my trip.

In the middle of the conversation I started crying because it was so hard leaving the company of a good friend and the scenery was just as peaceful and beautiful as the talks my friend and I shared during the visit. Grabbing my hand and comforting me as she always did she said “sweetheart” ” a Vacation would not be a vacation if we didn’t have to come home” and she was right, it never would have been what it was to me if I had lived there.

My “grams” gave me wisdom, comfort, she also gave me my dad who is lots more like her than he cares to admit. He too can tell you the truth as well but silence the pistol and you can hear the conversation that is going on inside the conversation. All this came to me today when cleaning and finding a gift from Qvc she gave me years ago that we didn’t need then but we could sure use now.

Eight years almost on the twenty-eighth you been gone “grams” and your still here with me, you knew what you were doing all those years and because of all those evening and morning talks at your table I just close my eyes and their you are and once again you silence the pistol of being gone.

Daily Post

Daily Post – Waiting Room

November 18, 2014March 1, 2015 shelie278 Comments

This was originally posted in July 2014.

Life In My Tin Can

PromptWaiting Room Good things come to those who wait.” Do you agree? How long is it reasonable to wait for something you really want?

This is an older post originally from July 2014, but to me it fit so well with the waiting room theme. My blog is fixed for now until we hit turbulence again. Over the years I have grown to like a bit of a malfunction because of the aftermath it has on us, were never the same just a bit rearranged…

My one year anniversary is coming up and If I learned anything it’s that blogging takes lots of patients and time. Blogging does not just happen overnight eventually it comes to you in bits but nothing more and a whole lot of less.

I should really explain myself.

Before signing on with this blogging platform, I went out on the internet to try to figure…

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Daily Post

Daily Post (Turn The Table)

November 9, 2014March 1, 2015 shelie272 Comments

Prompt: Someone’s left you a voicemail message, but all you can make out are the last words: “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you months ago. Bye.” Who is it from, and what is this about?

You had finally called me that day to tell me you were sorry for the last year of not knowing what you wanted…

You had decided to pursue this relationship.

You asked me if you could call me after you got off work.

I was thrilled

You said it would be pretty late around ten or eleven but the time was fuzzy.

Ten came and ten went.

Eleven came and eleven went.

Twelve came and twelve went.

One O Clock my grief was more like the death of a loved one.

I walked down the long dark hallway.

I laid diagonal across my roommates four-post bed.

The black night was like a spotlight on the white cordless phone.

I dialed up the storyline and played it over and over again in hopes the line would beep and I could click over to my happiness.

I don’t know how long I held on to the phone that night but I do know how long I have held on to you.

Today I wanted to tell you it was over.

I am in love for the second time in my life.

Sorry for your loss!

Daily Post

Daily Post Free writing (Gloomy Murph)

October 2, 2014March 1, 2015 shelie274 Comments

Prompt: Our weekly free-write is back: take ten minutes — no pauses! — to write about anything, unfiltered and unedited. You can then publish the post as-is, or edit a bit first — your call.

My dog is laying on the floor, a thunderstorm is rolling in. I hear what may be a train whistle but it’s so far away I cannot tell if that is what it is or not? The “Tin Can” is getting darker and darkerand I must admit my stomach has butterflies. I want to get off here so I can look at the weather update but I only have ten minutes. The curtain is flying open, people are outside chatting about something. It made my heart beat a bit faster wondering if it was the weather they were talking about. There is rumbling now, my dog got up quietly and strolled back to our room. It’s silent but the fan sounds like a high-speed clock about to blow at anytime! I also hear some water trickling into what seems to be a pile of more water; my bird is chirping and I just looked over at him. He is in his hammock….a hammock for our bird is green, fuzzy, and looks more like a tunnel but its called “hammock”. The rain has picked up and I am not in the best of spirits because I feel everyone including this post and myself is much like the fan in my living room.

Twins

ONE QUESTION

September 23, 2014September 23, 2014 shelie2727 Comments

This is the one chance you have to become my friend let me tell you a bit about myself first.

My name is Shelley, I am married now six crazy passionate years we have a little boy who soon will be five he goes to pre-k and daycare when we all are home together I like to stay home with them, Let me be the first to tell you my husband and I have had our problems but were happy, I talk about my problems all the time, my husband calls me “mellow dramatic” please know he is right,I always run late, I was late for my grandmas funeral, she already new this would happen, if someone or something hurts my feelings, I cry hard of course it’s a bit more controlled in public but if it really hurt I let loose when I get home, I tend to laugh when I am not supposed to, I have been trying to work on this please forgive me in advanced, I DO NOT COMPETE, My white flag will be up every time never have I been into competition and most likely it will stay that way, however I have two people who I have been jealous of, one my whole life I am not proud of this but it’s a work in progress, I have an eating problem that stems from my past I recently detected it when talking to my mother if we become close enough friends I have no problem laying that out on the table either, I don’t have a handle on the eating thing quite yet, I take too much on and often complain about it after the fact, just so you know, I will complain about my parents and cry to you about how I just don’t feel we all spend enough time together but besides the Holy Spirit they are the voices in my head, I spend lots of time deep in thought some things I say may not make since some of the time but if you know me you will let it slide, I will get irritated from time to time and be a bit snappy but know it’s not you and as my friend Chris once said “her bark is worse than her bite” and to let you in on a little secret she is right on the money.

With all this said I am always here for you or anyone for that matter. I don’t care what you have done, what you’re going to do, what heritage you are, where you live, what happened to you, what your on, what you might be on, who your cheating on, who you love who you’re going to love, who your still in love with, if you want kids, if you don’t, all that shit don’t matter to me of course some friends are closer than others that just the way life is, let me say this.

I am thirty-seven years old and have more than a handful of good friends the kind that know all my dirty little secrets and vice of versa, the kind who will come running if your broke down on the side of the road drunk at three o clock, the kind that are just as truthful to your face as they are behind your back, the kind that support all the things you have up your sleeve ninety percent of the time, the kind that will listen to you talk about your childhood and all the bullies and understand that you have battled moving forward but hug you and let you know their sorry in some kind of way, the kind that will speak to a nurse at three am in the morning because you’re so drugged up on morphine at 23 weeks pregnant giving birth to babies whom will not be making it out of the hospital, the kind of friends who hold their tears back when you have to bury your babies because they want to be strong for you, the kind of friends who all want to be gathered around your side when you have to say goodbye, the kind of friends who hold you up so you can see over life’s crap.

So with all this said, I know what real friendship looks like. The real question is, Would you like to be friends with me the ball is in your court?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/litmus-test/

Fiction

First Fiction short story (ever)

September 23, 2014March 1, 2015 shelie275 Comments

He barely lifted his head up off his giant dark cherry wood desk covered in papers,awaking from another good time the night before,he sees the sun creeping in from the thick wooden blinds in his office it makes his head hurt even worse,he draws his wrist in to see the time on his gold Rolex watch and knocks over the small thick glass of liquid all over his desk. He mumbles a few curse words but don’t have the energy for much else.

He puts his hands down flat on the desk to assist him in pushing himself up out of his chair as he stands up he brushes off the remains of the white powdery substance that dusted his Armani blazer,as he walks towards the window he can’t help but notices how his degree on the wall stands out because without it the wall would be empty, he admires his freshly painted burgundy wine walls that define his franklin sofa and chairs, looking up at the tray ceiling begins to make him dizzy, but he gets distracted by the chatter and laughter outside he gently peeks through his wooden blinds as if he’s trying to be sneaky and sees two small children with their parents playing in water fountain in front of his downtown office, he slowly looks away and walks back over to his desk sits back down bleakly staring at the beautiful freshly painted wall in front of him. The silence of the dark room overwhelms him with grief no one has ever been so truthful.