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Within You Are So Many Answers

I stepped down from my position as the Activity Director on Tuesday. I made this decision like a nurse pulling off a band-aid. I went back  working as a Nursing Assistant in the evenings. I started last Wednesday. I have been off since Wednesday night when I clocked out. I’m glad I made the decision to take a few extra days off.

I wrote a post a few months back telling you I was not sure I could maintain the job. I was scheduling daily activities for the residents: outings, parties, competitions, entertainment, and games. I was getting the job done on one hand, but on the other hand I was having a hard time giving my residents quality time. I also had a hard time focusing  on my family because I kept thinking about all the things I could be doing to be one step ahead of the game. The job was never done when you left.

Wednesday when I worked a staff member made a comment to me about being on vacation for eight months, and I could do the showers from now on. There was another comment made about the  activity job being a “cake walk.”  I know those comments don’t matter but they threw me for a loop, and made me second guess my decision.

I want to encourage you to read a few of blogs of mine, if time allows.. I went back and read them last night. They reminded me of the good times, I have  had as a nursing assistant at the home. I want to come back to this post if need to, and give myself the whole story.

Nosy”

“She Didn’t Leave me Hanging”

I made my  decision fast. I should have kept the job in activities, held out, until I came across something new. I know I can’t should on myself, whats done is done. Yesterday I came across this quote. The quote cured the loneliness I’ve been feeling about making a mistake.

” I never make the same mistake twice. I do it three or four times just to make sure it was a mistake” Andrew’s View Of The Week

 

 

 

 

 

 

memories

The Man In Front Of Me

I took a few of my residents to the ballet last night. I couldn’t  tell you the last time I had been to a ballet. I enjoyed watching them all dance, and the Ballerinas in their  purple, yellow, and pink tutu’s were stunning. I can’t tell you the plot of the show, though. I can tell you about the man in front of me.

He was alone.

He sat slouched a bit, with his legs crossed. His right elbow was placed up on his armrest with his hand up over his mouth. He was wearing a blue stocking hat, a pair of lighter colored jeans, and an oversized gray thermal shirt.

During intermission he was leaned up against the wall with glasses on reading the “Wall Street Journal.” He had a book with him and I’ll be damned if the title was covered up by the program pamphlet!

The program continued and I sat there staring at him for a smile, a tear, a sigh, but nada. He sat the same way the whole time. One thought I had, maybe this was Liam Neeson, he’s been spotted in town alone a few times, but Liam Neeson is tall this guy was average  five-eight or nine, maybe.

I decided he was there reminiscing about the time he danced in the ballet, and he was critiquing all the performers dance moves. He thought the show in this one-horse town was mediocre!

friendship

Meet and Greet: 1/19/18

Dream Big, Dream Often

 

It’s the Meet and Greet weekend everyone!!  Strap on your party shoes and join the fun!  

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags.
  4. Feel free to leave your link multiple times!  It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want.  It is up to you!

  5. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

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Family

A Step In The Right Direction

My husband, Gabe, and I attended a seminar for families at the school tonight. They prepared dinner and a sitter for everyone who attended. The name of the seminar was Overcoming Obstacles.

They broke up everyone into groups of five. We EACH introduced ourselves by telling everyone who we were, how many children we have, and the biggest obstacle we our facing. I was the fourth one to speak. I told them my name, and that I was married, and that we have a son together and I have two Stepchildren. I told them being a parent was hard, but being a blended family was harder. In my opinion. I ended up getting tons of feedback from the girls in the group. A few girls married to husbands with Ex-wife’s and a few Ex-husband who were remarried.

If  you want something you never had you have to do something you’ve never done”

I felt all of us stepped outside the box tonight. We walked to the school together, we had face to face human interaction, and put down our electronics. This year, if the good Lord is willing. I want to quit trying to fix problems out of my control. I’d like to see some of the unnecessary energy I use trying to fix these problems spent on the people I love!

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Nosy

Life In My Tin Can

I had a male resident at my current job. He was visually impaired, stood about five three or four. He had thin, buzzed, light brown hair. His room had nothing on the walls or dressers. He had a lady friend who lived in the home as well. Once a week a man my age now, would take him out to eat.

When doing my medicine pass one night I walked by his door. I saw him sitting on the edge of his bed. I backed up a few steps and stood there looking in. To make sure he was, alright.

He started to praying

“Thank you for the trees and leaves, thank you for the birds that sing, thank you for the rain and the sunshine, the cold days and the hot days, thank you for the good days and the bad days”

Every night, til the day he left, I…

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Should I Let The Balls Fall Where They May?

I’m at a crossroads in my life. I think, I have been here for a while. I know I told all of you who follow me, I had a new job as the Activity Director. I worked years in this same facility as a Nursing Assistant. I enjoyed being there as a Nursing Assistant in the beginning and the middle of the job. The job just got repetitive, I caught myself not giving my all as a Nursing Aid and did not enjoy the feeling of being half-assed!

The Activity Director

Has a lot of responsibilities. Truthfully, I don’t know if I’m pulling my own weight…

Last Saturday, My husband and I drove two of our residents, and a bus full of other olympians who  belonged to another company. We drove to P-town for State Bowling Competition. They asked if they could hitch a ride on our bus. We left around 7:00am and we should have left earlier. I had forgotten to check the gas tank the night before and we were on empty. My husband took a wrong exit to find a gas station. We ended up going around in a circle, and started back from square one. The time is now 7:25am and we are just leaving S-town, the town where we are from. We had to be on the lanes ready to go by 9:00am. We strolled in at 8:40am and the lady from the company who hitched a ride said she was going to run in and register her athletes. I gathered every one-off the bus as quick as I could. A man from the other company came and grabbed the ramps they needed for their olympians. I got both of my residents into the bowling alley and on their lanes. My husband parked the bus, and grabbed the two ramps we would need. I went to registration, registration started from 8:00am – 9:00am. The time, now is 8:55am. I barely made the deadline. I was headed back to their lanes, when a volunteer came up to me, and said: “both of my athletes need name tags.” I stuck my hand into the registration envelope pulled them out and walked as fast as my chubby self would carry me sideways through the crowd. I slapped them on my athletes. Then the lady who hitched a ride with us informs me my residents needed their ramps set up. I had yet to set up ramps at all in this job position. I asked her as opening ceremony was going on if she thought I could use the ramps of the opposing athletes? She said “Shelley, you will have to ask them, where are our other ramps?” I told her they were up front, and I don’t think I have time to set them up. She said “GO GET THEM” my husband took off running to do as she said and we ALL helped put them together, and put them on their lanes. I don’t know what time I had everything together, however I do know it was a close call. I also know these two people saved my ass.

I still have to take all these ramps back to the bowling alley. I felt I owed this woman a favor for saving my ass! I told her we had bowling on my calendar for Tuesday, Tuesday being yesterday. I called the bowling alley to find out their hours have changed. They would not be open until 4:00Pm. I get off at 4:30PM and the residents eat around 5:00. The ramps didn’t make their way to the bowling alley yesterday.

Today my son is coughing.

My husband stayed home yesterday to be with him, now its my turn. I was working yesterday, maybe I should have taken the ramps back after 4PM. I had a choir coming in to perform for my residents around 7:00pm. I’m going to go into work, tonight to take back the ramps when my husband gets home. The reason being is because tomorrow we take twelve residents to go shopping. We leave at 10am the ramps take up two seats on the bus. I’m thinking they need to be out of the bus before we go grocery shopping. My luck we won’t be able to cram everyone into the 15 seats we have on the bus. I have my assistant, and two volunteers going tomorrow.

Whomever this letter concerns,

I have a calendar full of activities this month. One being a Christmas party with residents and their families. I feel the pressure is on. They also have a New Years eve party which is in this same month. I’m not for sure I like this feeling, I don’t know though if I’m just not used to working this hard? I don’t know, if its to physical for me because I’m a chub. I do know I have seen other chubby people doing the job. I have always had trouble focussing, and this job is all focus and organization. I wonder though if I’m lacking help or perhaps the job has to many things going on for two people to handle?

This is where YOU come in. I’m asking you guys, I guess since I’m asking you can let me have it!!!

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Vibrant Red

Call me weird, Or whatever you’d like about this comment. I’ve  wanted to share this post of Jamie’s for a long time. I’m choosing today to follow my gut. She can make me laugh, cry, and feel blessed to be living all in one post. This is ONE of my favorite blogs from her, enjoy! Thank you for your writing Jamie!

Author Jamie Zunick

It all started with a very simple comment.  A co-work looked at me the other day and asked, “When are you going to dye your hair again?”

I was a little surprised by her question.  It was true that I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to my hair lately.  Life has been so busy that I really hadn’t given a lot of thought to my style or color.  Over the last several weeks, I have just been washing my hair in the evenings and then giving it a few quick strokes with a brush before rushing off to work in the morning.  I don’t fuss with my hair for the rest of the day.  This is fine for me.  I have never been an “every hair in place” kind of girl.  I like my hair wild.  I admit though that sometimes it looks a little too wild, a little…

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Juice Machines

I’m irritated most of the time.

I do believe the hustle of parenting, work, maintaining my marriage and a house, are normal stressors that could cause irritation.

Then.

There are problems I bring on myself. Health, financially, and the way I let others affect me.

Then.

We all have cards we are dealt in life, we just have to deal with them and patiently wait to “stack up again.” Some people will tell us “it’s still all up to you, your  attitude, how you choose to act when you’re in the trenches.

I feel before long with all this positive attitude shit were all going to be running around looking like the audience of the Hunger Games!

Anyway.

I would Love nothing more to trash talk right now but I can’t. I’m mad because I have to take the “high road.”

The feds are lurking around my blog like fruit flies around a juice machine, waiting to ruin the down pour of fresh fruit juice.

Today.

Gabe, made me smile. He made Red a helmet of armor, with a belt, and weapon. I hope he makes me one, tomorrow! Continue reading “Juice Machines”

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Dad, Told Me Never Backwards, Only Forwards

I moved into a new position at work, You’re looking at the new Activity Director of the home where I work. I plan events for the residents. Bowling, fishing, picnicking, parties, and games. I enjoy my new job. To be honest, the work has not been all fun and games. My biggest challenge has been planning  the calendar for each month. I plan all the activities and make sure none of the events run into one another. I have trouble with focusing. This requires me to triple check my work. I also have others look over my work, and they have been happy to help me out.

The job is challenging, and I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, because of my lack of organization skills, and focussing.

Today: Was Special Olympics Fun Day with friends. The organization, paired up the residents, with a one on one friend (volunteer). They took them to games, karaoke, lunch, and a concert featuring: Elvis. I got to sit, and write.

The other night I was able to go out with Freebird. We went to dinner and caught up a bit, then we went to see the movie IT! The movie was alright, not bad, but not great. The eerie part of the movie to me, was the back story of the children who were not only victims of the clown, but abuse in their day-to-day life. They were not just abused by their parents, but bullies too.

King was no stranger to the hell that went on in the 1980s!

I  have, started reading again but not your blogs. I’ve been reading about Jeffrey Dahmer, Ottis Toole  and Henry Lee Lucas. Ottis Toole killed Adam Walsh. Henry Lee Lucas was his partner and “alleged” lover. These men set the sail “as a mid-1980s panic over stranger abductions, one out of petrified kids and Paranoid parents. Kids used to be able to go out and organize a kickball game, and now all playdates and the social lives of children are arranged and controlled by parents.” This statement hit home with me. I put my child on a short leash. He’s not stayed all night with anyone, but I have let him walk next door and play with a friend, he also walks to school with him, and his dad every once in a while.

The movie IT in my opinion is about fear. The chains fear can have on you.

Fear: will stunt the growth of a child, a new career for an adult, help for a drug user, marriage, and divorce. The list can go on and on, you get my point, don’t you?

The other day on my drive to work a squirrel darted out in front me he or she was giving it all he or she had.

Focused on what was in front of him or her and front legs and back legs hitting nothing but pavement. I couldn’t help to be envious of the drive this animal had to get across the street the way it did!

 

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Letting Go, But Not Forgetting

“I remember every detail of that day. I lose sleep over that day. I dream about holding him, hugging him, rubbing his tummy, and loving him. If only I had a dream catcher that actually worked”

I’m thinking of you, my friend.

Free Bird

The funeral was the worst. As I walked up to the funeral home, his dad was standing outside, and I gave him a big hug. I’d never met him before this tragedy. As tears streamed down his face and his shirt was drenched in sweat, I hugged him tightly as my own tears fell on his shoulder. I told him how sorry I was and how I knew nothing I could say would make any of this okay. I thought I would going to pass out before I even walked into that building. My heart was pounding so hard and I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

As I walked up to the casket, my heart fell into my stomach. As his small body lay there in his little white suit with his baby blue bow tie, he looked so peaceful. I cried. I actually bawled. I…

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