a friend of mine asked me “Shelley are YOU going to the class reunion?”I had went the last few years mind you, and none of my friends, whom I went to school with, and still hang out with now, attended the reunion. There wasn’t a lot of people who showed up at the reunions in the past.
I said: no I think I will pass this year.
“Shelley you should go”
Why, no one went last year?
“Shelley this is the year people start dying, and Shit”
The other morning, when dropping him off at school. He makes his way to the middle, where he is sitting next to me. I’m thinking he’s going to give me a goodbye KISS…
“Mom, when you were a kid did they have televisions in the olden days”
Um Gabe, yes, it was not that long ago. Get out of my car!
Her daughter, told us she would take our picture together. We give her the camera, scoot in close, and smile. She just stands there giving us a-deer-in-the-headlights, look.
Her Mom says: “what are you waiting for?”
“You guys need to do duck lips or do something in the photo?”
We purse our lips, she shakes her head, we give each other bunny ears, she shakes her head, we stick our tongues out, She shakes her head, we grab one another laughing uncontrollably, and she hands the camera back to her Mom, and says: “never mind!”
Coffee with a neighbor
SHE got on the subject of talking about Sex. I joined in on the conversation, and was agreeing with her about certain techniques, and she says: “Oh, so you and your husband still do it?”
Yea, we do
“that so Awesome”
Umm we have only been together nine years were freaking newly weds for crying-out-loud
Last Night At Work
I made a wise-crack to the cook. I’m sorry I cannot remember what I said (It’s a part of my old age.) He told me what you said you reminded me of “Steve Marten on Saturday Night Live he always used to say that same phrase.”
“Do you remember?”
No, what year are you talking about?
“In the seventies”
No, I wasn’t born until 1977!
“Oh really, how old are you”
“Really, when did you turn forty?
Monday, I turned forty, three days ago!