Twins

ONE QUESTION

This is the one chance you have to become my friend let me tell you a bit about myself first.

My name is Shelley, I am married now six crazy passionate years we have a little boy who soon will be five he goes to pre-k and daycare when we all are home together I like to stay home with them, Let me be the first to tell you my husband and I have had our problems but were happy, I talk about my problems all the time, my husband calls me “mellow dramatic” please know he is right,I always run late, I was late for my grandmas funeral, she already new this would happen, if  someone or something hurts my feelings, I cry hard of course it’s a bit more controlled in public but if it really hurt I let loose when I get home, I tend to laugh when I am not supposed to, I have been trying to work on this please forgive me in advanced, I DO NOT COMPETE, My white flag will be up every time never have I been into competition and  most likely it will stay that way, however I have two people who I have been jealous of, one my whole life I am not proud of this but it’s a work in progress, I have an eating problem that stems from my past I recently detected it when talking to my mother if we become close enough friends I have no problem laying that out on the table either, I don’t have a handle on the eating thing quite yet, I take too much on and often complain about it after the fact, just so you know, I will complain about my parents and cry to you about how I just don’t feel we all spend enough time together but besides the Holy Spirit they are the voices in my head, I spend lots of time deep in thought some things I say may not make since some of the time but if you know me you will let it slide, I will get irritated from time to time and be a bit snappy but know it’s not you and as my friend Chris once said “her bark is worse than her bite” and to let you in on a little secret she is right on the money.

With all this said I am always here for you or anyone for that matter. I don’t care what you have done, what you’re going to do, what heritage you are, where you live, what happened to you, what your on, what you might be on, who your cheating on, who you love who you’re going to love, who your still in love with, if you want kids, if you don’t,  all that shit don’t matter to me of course some friends are closer than others that just the way life is, let me say this.

I am thirty-seven years old and have more than a handful of good friends the kind that know all my dirty little secrets and vice of versa, the kind who will come running if your broke down on the side of the road drunk at three o clock, the kind that are just as truthful to your face as they are behind your back, the kind that support all the things you have up your sleeve ninety percent of the time, the kind that will listen   to you talk about your childhood and all the bullies and understand that you have battled moving forward but hug you and let you know their sorry in some kind of way, the kind that will speak to a nurse at three am in the morning because you’re so drugged up on morphine at 23 weeks pregnant giving birth to babies whom will not be making it out of the hospital, the kind of friends who hold their tears back when you have to bury your babies because they want to be strong for you, the kind of friends who all want to be gathered around your side when you have to say goodbye, the kind of friends who hold you up so you can see over life’s crap.

So with all this said, I know what real friendship looks like. The real question is, Would you like to be friends with me the ball is in your court?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/litmus-test/

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Blog Ramblings

ImageSo this whole blogging world is new to me. Actually it never occurred to me that people blogged the way they do as in my definition of a blog was people who write and post pictures about their family vacations, children, life as husband and wife and nothing more. One night when I found word press by typing in blogging signing up and surfing you could imagine my surprise when I seen topics from abuse, weight, sexual identity, work, every day life and so on. The majority of my time has been spent on here reading and getting to know some people .Actually a few people I could really call up and ask them is their anyway we could be friends. I even look forward to their next post about their lives or thoughts on a particular subject. I would mention them but think it may be early in the game for this. This has been unexpected and I feel like it is right up my alley as far as being myself and sharing parts of my life. Something that I have always wanted to do. I am a bit overwhelmed because it takes me forever to write one thing and even in writing this my son has the fridge open he is asking me a million questions and I am hunting and pecking these keys and feel as though it is a slow going process. Listen I love to write and talk about things just as much as the next person but feel as though this has not been easy because its hard for me just to sit here and type something on a whim! Sometimes when writing my stories about my past it takes me days because it doesn’t come out of my mind as fast. So this being said this is my first blog where I am just typing what comes to mind. Since reading more and more on here, I know when posting this even if it don’t make since it will be okay and I appreciate this and love that basically its no holds bar around these part.

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Help!

1} I got to 5 likes and they told me to write a post about them, does that mean that my page itself got 5 likes or does it mean my post did?

2) These awards what are they all about?

3) can we private message fellow bloggers?

4) Do any of my followers have a facebook blog, and can we follow each other on their as well?

5) what do clicks mean on my stat page?

6) If you have any other feedback I am looking forward to hearing from you…

 

Daily Post · friendship · Home

Probation

FullSizeRenderTake A Chance On Me: What was the biggest chance you took? Did it work out?

I was twenty-one working in a daycare, taking care of babies. The daycare was large and had about 500 kids all together. The front desk had two happy well dressed woman sitting behind it. They were always smiling and greeting  you by name. There was an elevator across from the desk, it ran to the second story of the building, when you got off  you could go right or left, on the right was a short hallway that cut off into a tea, on the left side was a supervisor office and on the right side the owner of the building had her office. I always took the left turn and around the corner. I enjoyed the turn every morning before walking into my room. There were five infant rooms with windows. You could stand out and peak in at many tiny babies, back then we took care of babies who were just six weeks old. I enjoyed the job and the responsibilities because the job made me feel like I was doing my part to make the world a better place. I still had a lot of growing up to do during my spare time.

I had quite the group of friends that led to many nights out dancing, mingling, and meeting men. We always closed the bars down, meaning we did not leave until sometimes after three. This led to strolling in late to work most mornings and coming head to head with that perfect freshly pressed blonde supervisor. She seemed like she had it all together… ( there has always been something intimidating and admirable about a woman who has herself dressed to the nines first thing in the morning). She would look at her watch, shake her head, and purse her lips. I would walk straight to the elevator with my head down to my chest as far as it would go, standing waiting for the doors to open was like waiting for a punishment from your parents, when you were younger. I somehow managed to dodge her wrath.

THEN

One night got a bit out of hand. My friend (who also worked at the daycare) asked me if I wanted to go for a few drinks… It was the first time I tried Fuzzy Navels and they were going down like Niagara Falls. The few things I remember was leaving with my friend and two other guys, a fight that broke out in the parking lot, and falling up stairs. I woke up to the bright sun beaming on me  in a hotel room (yes hotel room) I got up and ran to the bathroom to get sick, after my episode I stood up, creeped back in to the room with my head down, walked over to the clock, picked it up and with a glance a lump formed in my throat, it was eleven o clock. My shift started at eight. A big fat tear rolled down my face. I walked over and shook my friend. I asked her what should we do? Her answer: well its too late now we will just have to look for another job. She lived with her parents. I had my own place and enjoyed having my own place, plus I  loved my job. It made me feel helpful, needed, and grown up. I had let myself down for the first time in my whole life. I got myself together and headed home and went straight to bed. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up later that evening thinking about how to make this right, regardless of the outcome. My plan was just calling and lying, for some reason I  couldn’t bring myself to do that.

The next morning came in as slow as a snail. I got out of bed at six o clock, got breakfast, my shower, and put my makeup on and headed out. My roommate: where are you going”? “To work” Do you think you still have a job Shelley? I have know  idea but I had to try. The drive into town remains the most nerve-racking drive of my whole life. I got to the parking lot and had a few minutes to get inside before my shift. I sat there debating about going in. I just could not give up this good thing I had going on with this job. I got out my car with my head high and shoulders up! I opened the double doors and my boss was sitting at the front desk. I walked straight in as fast as I could to the elevator with my head down. “Shelley” what are you doing here? Going to work? “No” you don’t work here anymore. The words shot out of her mouth in hit me like a bullet to the lungs. Taking my breath away, clumping up in my throat, slowly choking me and holding my voice hostage. It took me a minute to swallow so I could say something. People started to gather around and watch, making the situation worse. “Shelley” just turn around and go home. Fran, please just let me go to my classroom please? “Shelley” you let so many people down yesterday including your class, you through my schedule off and I had to switch people to different class rooms because you no called no-show. Fran please let me go upstairs and do my job?  She sat there for a minute pursing her lips and not blinking. I guess I could use you for the day. Go to your room. We will come get you later. You may have a chance to explain yourself. The day drug but that was okay by me. They waited until the end of my shift to come and get me. We walked down the hall of shame to the supervisor’s office with five well put together woman (you know how that gets me). The owner of the daycare included was there and says what happened to you yesterday Shelley? I sat there debating if I was going to tell the truth or not. She says again “Shelley were waiting” I looked at them all and said I will shoot for the truth, last night I had one to many drinks and woke up at eleven o clock in a hotel room and I really can’t remember too much at all. The reason I did not call was because I had to get myself together, I was shocked, sick and a mess and needed to reflect. I let myself down and had to figure out how to handle the situation. They all looked at each other and looked at me. Then the director says you’re  on probation for three months if you so much come in a minute late we will let you go. I stood up off that chair and told them all “Thank You” it was that moment of truth where I transformed and set the foundation of my work ethics!

If you ever do anything in life be honest, face your mistakes head on even if your punished you will be free. True freedom comes within the heart and mind. When you tell the truth its then when you truly live.