Daily Post · friendship

Flight 1995

Middle Seat

It turns out that your neighbor on the Plane (or the person sitting at the table next to you is a chatty tourist. Do you try to switch seats go for a non-committal brief small talk, or make this person your new best friend?

Shortly after my graduation, I flew to Florida to visit a friend. I boarded the plane and found my seat it was on the right hand side of the back of the plane. I was one seat away from sitting next to the isle. There was a space between me and a short, slender, Korean lady. She had her face and body pressed towards the window as far as she could go. She gave me a glance and then smashed herself back into the window. I sat down and got situated with my music gear preparing for take off. I noticed after I stopped shuffling around. My neighbor, was sniffling and quivering. Was she crying I thought to myself? All I could see was her long, shiny, healthy, black, hair. I figured I better put my headset on and mind my own business. (not typically my style).

After we got up in the air she peeled herself off the seat and told me she had to use the restroom. She had a few Kleenex in her hand waded up when she came back. I could see her watery eyes, her red nose, and another surprise growing in her tummy. I figured this was a sad situation, after about an hour of still hearing her sniffling, catching her breath and quivering. I decided to approach  her. I knew it was the right thing to do. If she turned me down I could live with it and have no regrets.

Me: Are you going to be okay

Her: No not for a while

Me: If you would like to talk about it, we can?

Her story

Her parents sent her off to college. I can’t recall which one, this has been years ago. I want to say somewhere in Washington D.C  They had deposited a check into an account for her to help get by while she was going to school. The amount was insane TO ME. I take they were well off. She then started crying, telling me most of the money was gone. She had met some friends at college and they decided to boycott school and take a few trips. She told me during this time she met someone who was married and basically dated him until she got pregnant then things started going down hill. He disappeared and quit answering her calls, he even changed his number and left the job he had. She was telling me all this and scratching herself all over her body. She said the pregnancy was stretching out her skin and making her itch, she wasn’t able to keep any food down, her clothes were getting to small and she wasn’t happy. She hadn’t told her parents about the money or the baby. She said the only people who knew was herself, the boyfriend and me. She told me she left town after people started asking her if she was pregnant. She sobbed and sobbed as she poured herself out to me. She was looking for someone somewhere to perform an abortion. She said only certain States perform them after a certain amount of months. She was five months, twenty weeks and torn about the decision. She said she could feel the baby moving around inside her and it was basically pulling at her heart-strings. The conversation went around in a circle for most of the flight. I never said much to her because I felt like I was there to listen. I stayed as monotone as I am in this post. When the plane landed she grabbed me and gave me a hug. I hugged her tighter and told her she would be in my thoughts, and she has been for almost twenty years.

friendship

Lately

I have not been able to find the words to write a post. I am finding out that I enjoy reading about others just as much if not more than my own life. I am sure I have built up an imagination on those of you, I read about. I find myself wanting to ask who you are, where your from, and if you’re everything my mind has made up? I talk to my mom about SOME of you. She is real wise. She sometimes thinks I get to wrapped up,but she listens to what I read her and even sometimes comments. She is not big into blogs but if she was all of you would like her. I know a FEW of you have been going through some hard times. I know we don’t know one another, at times I want come over to your houses and hug you and let you know you have a friend in me. Please don’t think weird of me. I take it this is SOME of the reason you write. I have just been thinking on writing something up to show you how much your blogs have touched my life and know I’m thinking of you.

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Children · Family · Home

“Get Glad In The Same Pants You Got Mad In”

Hello Good People,

Do y’all ever want to just blast a few bad Apples out on Social Media?

I wish I could post a big huge rant, about a few things going on in my life. It wouldn’t be classy and it wouldn’t be nice. If you’re the kind of person I am you can read = the l-i-n-e-s. If not I don’t know what to tell you.

Happiness is overrated, if you want to know my feelings on the subject. Even if you don’t I’m still telling you! You don’t and won’t wake up everyday happy. Its something you have to work on from time to time.

For example: When my husband and I lost our twins he was going one way with grief and I another. I held it in and took a lot of things most people said offensively. (Why were on the subject: When a mother looses her babies skip all the I’m sorry, they’re in a better place, you can have more, it was for the best, you will see them again. The best thing would be to ask her if there is anything you can do to ease her pain? and whatever she tells you try to grant it for her.) My husband who has PTSD disassociated to the point he wasn’t for sure we should be together and dabbled in some unspeakable computer activity. We spent a few months not even talking we barely made it through to be quite honest. Most people believed it was the end. The best thing we did was keep going. We would have brief discussions and it helped to make it through another day but I’m here to tell you it was the hardest time of our whole life.

To be quite honest it’s has taken me a long time to be where I’m at today with myself. It took giving birth to my twin boys who passed away from being premature: The aftermath was arbitrary to having a zip lock bag over my head. It hurt to breathe and it was the first and hopefully last time I didn’t want too. I felt angry, worthless, helpless and pieces of my past started to surface,making me believe at one point I didn’t deserve the gift of twins. I know now this isn’t true but then I didn’t because I had not dealt with issues from my past. It took some time but I started seeing a therapist afterwards who basically opened my heart she gave me permission to grieve the way I never was allowed or allowed myself to do so. She brought my husband in and helped us disagree on a healthier level. During our times of talk led me back to my faith which led to a weekend encounter with my church for more healing. Then I took an English class where a teacher, perhaps the only teacher in my whole life  encouraged me to keep writing. “She said you have a lot to say and she’d enjoyed reading about my life.” Here I’m thirty-eight years old and still trying to stay on track and remember who I’m.

To whom it concerns,

This has not been a walk in the park for me. I’m now learning how to put up boundaries not only to protect my happiness but my family’s as well. I’m however sorry you cannot find yours. I can’t look back to roll up my sleeves to try to make you or anyone else happy. Yes we can be kind, but we can’t do your foot work. I refuse to take your problems on and sacrifice how far I have come.

This road I’m on has been easier. I can’t explain it… Most days I feel lighter not so heavy. I know we’re still going to have hard times. Times that we won’t be happy. I feel like a part of happiness is knowing that the sadness will come and together we will get through it again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

friendship · memories

2960 Ashley Avenue

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Life is full of surprises!

Haya ho silver eighty peeps!

I wanted to share this gift I received from a secret pal at work not to long ago.It put a smile on my face about a mile long. I had been working my tail to the bone this specific week and this small gesture took a big load off the old backside.

 

 

Home

To list or not to list

How-do-you-do, fellow followers?

I have yet another confession for all of you, I can be a procrastinator. This title can be a blessing and a curse. For me it’s more of a curse because my pile of things to do keeps stacking up, until I get so over whelmed that it starts manifesting in other ways.

A few examples: crying, fatigue, yelling, anxiety

People: Friends, family and co-workers have suggested in the past, I make a list. This suggestion has been ongoing for years. The list has been another work-in-progress, it never gets done. Today sweet eighty some odd, is your luck day, because we’re going to make a list!

Please: Feel free to make your own list or any suggestions on procrastination in the comments

1) Go to store and purchase sign for window (hmmm stay tuned)

2) Fill out registration form for camp for Gabe

3) Call and get second opinion on air-condition (Yippee the air went out)

4) Re-new drivers license

5) Make an appointment for car to find out why the windows in locks don’t work (Double yippee Fun)

6) Murphy needs a hair appointment all his fur is starting to get in my way

7) Gabe still needs his vaccines before kindergarten starts

8) Apply for a job that has raised my eyebrows a time or two

9) Pull the weeds in my yard and plant some grass

10) Put up my Humming Bird feeder. I haven’t done this in years and I love to watch them

This is just a start to something new in my life. To maybe light a match under my bum..

They’re are a few other things I look forward to sharing.

One thing I was working on was a life lesson and maybe give my eighty some advise on some don’ts… I started pondering these last few day’s I think I will change it up.

Why: Because we our who we are because of all the hardships we  go through, it’s what makes me, me and you, you and I would like to share with you a few good things that have come out of a few bad things.

Children · Family · friendship

Walmart Diaries

What are some funny but truthful things your kids have Said?

The other day Gabe and I were shopping at Wal-Mart. Gabe Insisted on saying hello to all the passerby’s, I felt it was extreme. I told him “Gabe we need to be careful when talking to strangers.”

Gabe: Mom what’s a stranger?

Me: Anyone we don’t know their names

So then everyone we passed he told me they were strangers. In hopes he got the hint I shook my head yes and let him know he was correct. We get up in line to check out and there is a lady ahead of us.

Gabe: Taps on her shoulder “mam”

Lady: Yea

Gabe: What is your name?

Lady: Sarah

Gabe: Hi I’m Gabe

Gabe: Mom

Me: Yes Gabe

Gabe: This is Sarah and she is not a stranger anymore…

Daily Post · Family · Grandma · Home · love · Twins

Murphy Saint Claire

Hello everybody!

Do you have animals in your life? If no, why have you opted not to?

I have recently drifted from the 101, however I will eventually finish what I started. It may not be right on schedule but someday I will get it done. When I saw the prompt about our animals my mind started flooding about my dog, Murphy. He’s a Yorkie. He was mine first and foremost. My mom Linda called me out of the clear blue sky shortly after my “grams” passed away. She told me she was coming to get me we were going to go on a ride.

So let me inform y’all about my mom Linda. When she calls ya out of the blue and tells you she is on her way to pick you up, clap your hands together, keep them together swiftly rubbing them like you’re warming yourself up because something good is about to come your way. Linda is hard to catch and always on the go for the good of the family. If you ever get a chance to take a ride with her she is one train you don’t want to miss!

The trip was long. I can’t even tell you exactly where the place was. We went through five towns to get there,towns you only hear about on the weather radio. You know the ones you google and they only have like ten people living in them? uh yea, most of the driving consisted of narrow bumpy roads and lots of fields. One point on the car ride I had chalked it up that she had, had enough of my deep dark side and was going to end it for both of us. This is only a glimpse of how my imagination runs away with itself. I guess that is what I get for being a complete horror nut most of my life. My favorite seat in the house as a child was on grams lap eating sauerkraut from the jar, watching Hitchcock, Tales from The Darkside, and whatever mystery or horror grams had on. The older I got it just progressed maybe one day y’all can get a load of my nightmares.

We finally got to our destination.

An old house, on an old road, with an old farm. My mom pulled up into the driveway right next to a white utility van with no windows. The van looked to be old, It had rust in random spots, dents that looked as if during a high-speed chase they hit whatever was in their way and kept going. To the left was a cage th

Everyone meet Murph, Murph meet everyone!
://shellb27.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/image1.jpg”> Everyone meet Murph, Murph meet everyone!

[/caption]at had about five sections, each cage had three or four adult dogs in them. There was what I thought to be a chicken coop behind the cage? The house was white and it even looked as if it were lopsided. I sat in the car with my hand on the door handle observing and debating about getting out, Linda says in a firm tone let’s go!  and gets out of the car quickly. I’m still holding on to the door handle. She says whats wrong? Well first of all were in the middle of no where, no one is coming outside to meet us, I’m just letting you know if we have to scream, screaming ain’t going to get anyones attention around here its going to fuel the flame. I don’t know if this is safe… My mom being my mom “Shelley get out of the car!” we walked up to the door Linda leading me, I’m trailing behind mumbling “as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.” She motions me with her hand and an a violent whisper, “get over here!”  she knocks on the door, we wait for a few moments, Linda is all up in the screen doing a side to side type thing with her head trying to get a glimpse of someone or something but cannot see through all the residue on the window. This wasn’t helping the thoughts that were playing out in my head. The lady cracks the screen only sticking her nose out. “Do you have the Yorkies for sale says Linda?” The lady stepped out of the door and kid you not. You know the grandma in Texas Chainsaw massacre? Yep same physique and hair do. I could have been too far into my imagination but I was scared out of my wits! She said “follow me” you know that chicken coop we discussed earlier? We’re headed right towards it. I whispered in Linda’s ear let’s just go home? “shut up Shelley” when she opened the door of the coop the smell of dog poo took your breath away, you couldn’t escape a fly, the dogs barking and yelping sounded like human cries for help, and the medium-sized cages with more than one dog in them was an animal lovers worst nightmare.

I was in a puppy mill for the first time in my life and was over whelmed with sadness, helplessness and anger. The company surrounding me was obviously not on the same page. (I stood there as my mom walked forward with the lady from the massacre) and looked around at miles upon miles of puppies. Linda says where are the yourkies? We headed to the back to the far left corner of the coop. This particular cage sat lower than the rest and was a bit longer in size, In the corner all curled up was my dog “this is the last one he was the biggest out of the litter” and I reckon that is why nobody took him.” My mom said “he is yours if want him?” yep let’s go! My mom chuckled as the lady handed Murphy to me. She said “are you sure this is the dog you want?” are you kidding? This is who we came for and this is who we’re leaving with, he shook as he always does when he’s scared. She handed him to me, his cage was right by the door so I made a mad dash outside. When Murphy saw the light for the first time he could barely open his eyes, when I put him down on the ground he marched in one place getting used to the grass, after he did his business he walked over putting his paw on my shoe letting me know to pick him up.

My mom did the deal with the devil and we were on our way!

Murphy has always showed his appreciation of my rescue that day. He has been exactly what my mom bought him for, my grief. Through my grams, through my foster child, our twins and a few of my residents. He knows my grief cry compared to any other cry. He is patient when the grief comes, it’s almost like he knows I need that time to mourn. He will walk slowly over to where I’m lying and every time a tear falls he nestles right under my neck as if he is trying to catch every single one.

Daily Post · friendship

Stanley

Day Two: A Room with a view. Today’s Prompt: If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

The man in his room on the edge of his bed

A glare on the floor from the light overhead

No pictures or paintings on his four corner walls

No radio or t.v from my view in the hall

One braille book on his pale white chair

The glare from the floor piercing my stare

He started to pray about all he had

He said thanks for the good and bad

The halls were quiet no soul in sight

The peace was different in those halls that night!

Daily Post · friendship · memories · Uncategorized

She Didn’t Leave Me Hanging

Daily Prompt: What a Twist

Tell us a story- Fiction or non-fiction-with a twist coming.

Prompt: I work for a SLF (Supported Living Facility). My residents for the most part take care of themselves. We assist them with help they may need here and they’re. I have worked with the Home for about fifteen years now. They’re more than a few reasons why I just can’t walk away. Someday I will go into details of other great story’s.

My residents age range from thirty to ninety. In the past it has been younger, most of them have Visual impairment and are totally without sight. We do weights on a monthly basis and the nurse manager we were under at this time wanted us to praise and encourage all of the residents who were loosing weight.

When I arrived at work this day and got report, she informed me Emmet Brown (I changed her name for her protection) had lost five pounds. So I headed down to her apartment right away! I knocked on her door and entered when told. I flipped on her light and greeted her with a Hiya! She shot up like a bullet from her easy chair into sitiing up and yelled “HI how ya doing Sheli”?  I said good Thank You for asking. “What do you need”? I wanted to congratulate you on losing five pounds Emmet, give me five! holding my hand up and out as close as I could to her, she quickly shoots up out of  her chair stands at attention like  a solider.

Drops to the floor and gives me five push ups!

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Photo credit: quotlr.com

 

Daily Post · love

I Want To Know What Love Is Not

Daily Post

Prompt: We each have many types of love relationships — parents, children, spouses, friends. And they’re not always with people; you may love an animal, or a place. Is there a single idea or definition that runs through all the varieties of “love”?

Love is not always ready for love because you are

Love is not holding people hostage with money, secrets, lies, or pity

Love is not hitting someone or abusing them with words, such as stupid, ignorant, ugly, fat and looser

Love is not destroying someone elses happiness because you’re not

Love is not bragging to everybody what you have when they don’t, if your relationship or marriage is good people know it you do not need to post it up in neon flashing lights

Love does not hinder someones potential

Love is not living someone elses life for them, no can be just as healthy as yes

Love is not writing people off because there not living as you wish

Love is not for a certain class of people

love is not a word and it’s not for the weak!