Someone once asked me where I might be without my dad and to tell you the truth when thinking about the question it feels like I am underwater without the option to swim up to the surface. Yes there are other family members in my life who have shown me love and eventually we will get to them. For right now it is my dads time.

He always talked with me when I was little and looking back now I can tell you he was always in engaged in our conversation. One ongoing conversation he would have constantly was about strangers and safety tips especially with men it would go something like this.

1.) Never get into a car with someone you don’t know

2.) Never take candy from anyone unless I okay it first. (every Halloween after my brother and I were done trick or treating it was a tradition we would all sit on the floor, he would dump it out and go through every piece even throwing some away he wasn’t sure of Do you remember that Big Bro? Good times).

3.) Never let anyone threaten you by saying they will hurt dad, if you tell him. Always tell me no matter what they say then tell them “To go Fly a Kite”

Believe it or not I told one of my friends older brothers “To Go Fly a Kite” one time and it worked! (We won’t go into that story because I don’t think my long lost friend had the latter and I think of her quite often and wonder if she is alright,I was saved from a lifetime of darkness from some understanding of others.) After our talks on this particular subject, he would come right down to my level, look me in the eyes and tell me “dad could never live without you if something happened to you “sis I love you so much” Into my adult years with time getting away from us never once have I questioned his love. My three brothers know exactly what I mean.

The older I get the more I talk or write about these memories. Which all started in a writing class and church. I am able to sift through these memories and see what the power of love has done when the dark clouds have moved in and find I was never alone.

One day in the first grade my dad had to take my older brother for an appointment. My older brother has got about four years on me so usually after school got out he would meet me in front and we would walk right over to daycare which was on the left and about thirty or forty steps away.

The night before my brothers appointment my dad was like a broken record “sis after you get out of school walk straight over to the daycare don’t stop or talk to anyone” giving me another one of his great hugs and repeating himself again the next morning when dropping me off “sis I love you see you tonight”.

When heading out the doors of the school that afternoon with a bit of freedom I couldn’t help but stand in the middle of the sidewalk soaking up the hot sun after being inside most of the day. I have always lagged behind a bit because of my need to look around at everything going on, some people call it nosy. I guess the shoe fits a little but most of my intentions have never been bad.

I don’t know exactly the time I took standing there but a man starting calling out my name it took me a little bit to look over because I wasn’t expecting anyone and thought he may have been talking to someone else then he calls out again! I look over and see an older man yelling out his passenger side window in the driver seat and motioning with his hand to come over.. Looking over at the daycare and back at the man again for some reason I decided to walk on over to him.

The man had dirty blonde sweaty hair that looked like he had not yet brushed it, he had jean shorts on and they were frayed, He was leaned over a bit and when I had got to the passenger side door of his rusty green car he opened it up and said “Your dad asked me to pick you up get in”! I grabbed the side of his door and just stood there looking at the daycare and back at him again “S hurry up we are already late and I don’t want him to get mad at me”

I started to get confused, my throat was drying up and I couldn’t swallow, my heart was pounding, my hand was sliding down the side of the door with it being wet from sweat “get in honey” looking at him once more and over at the daycare with a slow cracky voice I said “my dad told me to go straight to the daycare” “he changed his mind get in” I just kept hearing my dads voice play a few times over “sis go straight over to the daycare it just kept on to the point I could no longer think of nothing else. I slammed his door shut and ran like hell and didn’t stop until I was “safe” inside  when walking in not one person said a thing just a normal day to everyone and even if I said anything being the place it was they wouldn’t have  believed me but I had never been so glad to be there.

I kept this story hidden for a long time in fear of people not believing me. My dad and mom are aware of the situation now but I want to share with them my take on the matter.

This memory here is how far back I can acknowledge listing to the Holy Spirit.

My dad was plucked out to raise me cause god knew through your love dad it would reveal who he was, it was you who introduced me to god through no words but actions. You taught me to see evil by teaching me what good really looked like. The air was THICK with love That day and the light you gave me was ON and once again you lead me home.