Tag: divorce

Family

A Step In The Right Direction

shelie276 Comments

My husband, Gabe, and I attended a seminar for families at the school tonight. They prepared dinner and a sitter for everyone who attended. The name of the seminar was Overcoming Obstacles.

They broke up everyone into groups of five. We EACH introduced ourselves by telling everyone who we were, how many children we have, and the biggest obstacle we our facing. I was the fourth one to speak. I told them my name, and that I was married, and that we have a son together and I have two Stepchildren. I told them being a parent was hard, but being a blended family was harder. In my opinion. I ended up getting tons of feedback from the girls in the group. A few girls married to husbands with Ex-wife’s and a few Ex-husband who were remarried.

“If  you want something you never had you have to do something you’ve never done”

I felt all of us stepped outside the box tonight. We walked to the school together, we had face to face human interaction, and put down our electronics. This year, if the good Lord is willing. I want to quit trying to fix problems out of my control. I’d like to see some of the unnecessary energy I use trying to fix these problems spent on the people I love!

Family · memories

Christmas Eve, And Christmas Day

shelie279 Comments

I would like to share how our Christmas went. This was the first year, my husband had his children here on Christmas. We had them the day after Christmas last year, and we were grateful. This year even more so, because all of our kids were together on Christmas morning.

Gabe, woke up at about 12:30 a.m and informed me Santa had been here. He climbed into bed right beside me, and was shaking to the point I thought something was wrong. I asked him if he was alright? 

Yes, Mom I’m so excited!

He did tell me his legs were hurting. He gets growing pains during the night. (The doctor is aware and has told me they’re growing pains). We got up to get him pain reliever, and as we walked through the kitchen, he stopped, and stared into the living-room at our small white tree, with gifts underneath.

I could stand here all night, mom!

I chuckled, gave him his medicine, and told him we had to go back to bed. I drift off for about an hour and a half and wake up to him telling his brother:

I got another Bowser amibo! 

I slapped Steven  awake, and told him their in their opening presents! He hops right up like someone is breaking into the house. Before he leaves the room, I said don’t yell their excited. I hear him say:

Did you open all your gifts without us…

Gabe, continued to tell him what he got. He pushed him back to bed, and told him to not get up until morning.

They all woke up around 8:00 a.m and we watched them open their presents. I was worried, because a few of them had a bit more than the other. Neither one of our children said anything about their amount of presents.

This was also the first year, I did Christmas dinner. Steve asked me if we could have dinner here since he had to take the kids back the next morning, I agreed. I kept dinner real simple, especially being my first time. We had a ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, green been casserole, and rolls. I burnt the rolls.

I sipped on Bailey’s’ while I cooked. It felt good, to know, I had two more days off to spend  with my family. Steve’s Mom helped me clean up, and do dishes. She said I did a nice job, and that this was the first time in twenty-two years she had off the hook from having Christmas dinner at her house.

My Step-daughter, practiced her flute downstairs, and I watched. She is making great progress. She played a favorite of mine.

I dreamed a dream

When she was done, she went upstairs to call her Mom. She told her Merry Christmas, and asked her if they could stay one more night. Her Mom said, Yes.

I must admit.

This was a great Christmas.

He used all the good notes!

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friendship

Day Three Of Quote Challenge

shelie276 Comments

I was nominated by Dru, to post three quotes for three days. This was a challenge. I thank you for thinking of me!

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I have learned over the last six years, how to “consider the source” this means you can’t take peoples snide remarks, and carry them around all day on the tip of your nose. I work a seven-day stretch, every other week. I will get Monday and Tuesday off, after the week-end, of my seven days. A lady, whom is a resident will say: “Shelley is this the week you get your two days off” I will tell her yes, and she will say: “you’re the only aid they give two days in a row off too, I asked the other aids why they don’t have two days in a row off and they said they’re not as special as you” she will not let me live the long vacation down. When the boss first started scheduling me with this huge vacation. I would explain, to my resident, why they had to schedule us the way they did. She would still, let me know, she didn’t think, the schedule was fair. She has been moved, three times from tables in the dining-room because she has bashed residents for personal issues about themselves. She told a resident the other day she had no business going to church, because she cussed and has a serious problem with over-eating. I know something has happened in this womans life. This by no means excuses her. I realize, it’s her, and not us!

 

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I clean for a woman, she is my boss at my job. Her daughter has a frame of this verse on her dresser. I think the verse is definitely, frame worthy. I think of certain issues going on in my life with my family, and my husbands ex-wife. I wish I could find my peace with both situations. I would love to go into detail and hear what advise you would have to give me but I can’t expose other people on my blog.
bltn
I see why they call this a challenge. This has not been easy for me and I did not want to finish the job. I persevered!

Feel free to take part in this challenge if you wish!

friendship

Introducing, Freebird16 To The Platform

shelie2721 Comments

I want to introduce YOU to my dear friend.

I will try my best to give you an intro without spoiling anything she would like to write about. The name of her blog is Freebird16. She writes about being newly divorced, abuse, and love. I have been friends with her for six or seven years now. We met at work, the job I often talk about. We have sons who are around the same age and they have given us something in common. We started out meeting at the park with our boys, then she had my son and I come over. She guided my faith in Jesus, and confirmed to me that my dreams, and visions were real. She cried with me on more than one occasion about the loss of my twin boys. When she told me about her mother being sick, and how she would lie with her in bed, I knew she was someone I would want to spend my time knowing. I think you would as well. Please when you have a minute welcome her the way you have me. You as well have much to give. Even if it’s just a piece of advice, it will go a long way. Thank you

Freebird16, I would like to introduce you to some of the blogs, I roll with!

 

Hometogo, Dian was the first blogger who followed me. She showed me how to find and create a layout, how to create an about me page, how to tag, and also supported me through a few dark post, she did this not even knowing me and I-am grateful to have come across her. I wouldn’t be the professional, popular, blogger, today without her. She has gone through a lot this past year and does not post as much as she used to. When she does she talks about depression, family, her single mother, and her life with her husband.

Raspberry’s Daydreams, Raspberry was my second follower. She has read and commented on my blogs from the beginning. She’s encouraged me with her comments and responded with heartfelt concern. I dig Raspberrys photos, food, and marriage. The fact she lives in Singapore makes her life even more interesting.

Hummingbird Redemption, Raphael is someone you want to follow as well. She has an amazing survival story, she home schools her daughter, and they’re constantly out on the town exploring and learning. Her writing is just as eccentric as she is. She grabs the heart usually in the middle of her post, I love how she twist and turns your heart in her writing.

Thelonerose, She is good people. I think you may be following her, but I still want to mention her blog. She has lost it all. She has a way of writing on grief that I can’t explain but it’s moving. She lets you in on her every day life all the way down to the guy who delivers her groceries. I also like that she gets involved with her readers and involves you in her walk. She’s down to earth and if she lived near me. I know we would have coffee and hang out.

DearLilyJune, She writes life lessons of what she has learned to her daughter. She writes on mental illness, marriage, love, and lots more. Her writing is clean, she’s descriptive, and always heartfelt. She is another gal, I think we could be friends in life. I will tell her now why I have the chance. We are both in the Mid-West just so she knows…

Last but not least

Opinionated Man, You will learn a lot of do’s and do not’s, you will meet other bloggers, and he will be a voice in your head, if you can roll with his flow. You don’t have to agree with everything. I have taken his advice on several things when it has come to my blog, He didn’t steer me wrong at all. He always gets back to you when you ask questions and he’s busy but always makes time.

Enjoy yourself freebird, blogging takes time. I think if you stick with it, you will find people like yourself. If it’s just a few, it’s the greatest thing in the world to meet people who understand where you’re coming from.

 

Children · friendship · Home

Cruising

shelie279 Comments

When Childhood Ends, Write about a defining moment in your life when you are forced to grow up in an instant (for a series of instants)

There are a few moments that define when I was no longer a child. I have been faced with decisions in my life especially with the twins, even with that decision I wonder if the state I was in at that moment of my life if it was a rash decision or a decision made out of anger and pain… It may be a topic we talk about one day or not. It’s a controversial subject it would open doors for others to chime in and I have come to far to open all those sores.

My husband and I take drives every now and then to get out-of-town, not to far, far enough where we have time to talk, talk about the things we don’t normally discuss at home during the work week and raising our son. I can’t remember the exact date. What I do remember is thinking “this is what it feels like to be a grown-up) We were on the subject of ex-girlfriends and boyfriends. If you have read my about me, I-am wife number three for my husband. He will tell you the first wife was a mistake. We barely talk about her, as he says “it don’t matter because there is no history” take that comment however you want because it’s for the best.

His second wife is where conversations get complicated. They have children together, he did love her, and enjoyed their friendship. On the day we took this drive, we had just found out some news about her and her husband that was concerning to him. It brought him back to a conversation that they had together before their divorce and her new marriage. I could tell Steve was having a bit of a hard time explaining his emotions he had going on inside, to me. I-am typically a jealous woman when it comes to him but this particular day I told him it was okay to share his hurt and regret with me. I felt led to keep my mouth shut for him and that is what I did. He was able to tell his story without me sighing, chiming in, explaining his feelings and all the other bull that comes along with those certain conversations.

I recently told you about another mishaps regarding  the ex-wife and the daughter. (click here) I did take the advice of a few of my readers. I apologized with a brief note and she accepted and told me that she appreciated my apology.

Family

Swallowing Crow

shelie278 Comments

Latterly on Life In My Tin Can,

My husband’s daughter came to visit us for the first time in four years. If you click on This link, you’ll get more insight, You’ll also see where I provided a link to share with you, a song her and I shared on smule (a karaoke app.) One of the few times we bonded or even talked for more than five minutes. It was a nice moment and I enjoyed our short time we had together. I was excited enough to send the link to her mother, not only to share her daughter’s voice but our interaction together…

In my need for acceptance I was a bit carless and selfish because of the song choice. The ex-wife was quick to point out my carelessness not to my face but she did let him know. first I was angry and thought she was just jealous. Then later I started thinking and I regret to inform you the song was NOT appropriate for an eleven year old girl to be singing.

I was so caught up in the moment and a few days after, that I didn’t even think about the song choice. I’m turning to my followers for advice and wisdom. Do YOU think I should call and apologize or should I let it be?

P.s I took the song off the record in a fit of rage. I do think it was for the best?

Children · Family

Elizabeth

shelie275 Comments

Recently On Life In My Tin Can

My family and I headed down to Texas to see our imagechildren (my step children.) The trip went well for a few days considering we not only visit the children but the ex-wife too. I would enjoy explaining the details but when it comes down to it, it would not be right of me. I will tell you. Gabe always enjoys taking the trip and even though at times its uncomfortable for me. I just know (well I hope) Gabe will have something to talk with his siblings about one day.

We try to show them a good time. This time they went swimming, we all went to a 3D movie, out to eat and had two BBQ’s where they played in the yard, sand, pool and trampoline, in hundred degree weather with kids from the neighbor hood. Gabe and all the other kids were dirty from head to toe and bushed by bed time which was fine with us. We were bushed as well.

This was the first time since his divorce he was able to take his daughter back home with us for one week. This was a milestone in my husband’s life. I’m proud of him, happy for my son, but feel a bit sketchy about the relationship between her and I, which I suppose is normal.

If you need an explanation we just didn’t talk much and when asking her a few questions she spoke quietly and brief. We did have one moment where we sang a few songs on  smule together (which is a cool Karaoke App.) She also made me chuckle hard when her dad asked her this.

Steven: Izzy

Izz: Yes Daddy

Steven: Do you want to visit Lincoln Tomb while you’re here

Izz: No, sorry dad I don’t do good at old mens grave sites….