Category: love

Children · Daily Post · Family · love

Memory Of The Loving (Fake Obituary)

shelie276 Comments

Prompt: Write Your Obituary:

Shelley 37 of WordPress passed away during a vacation with her husband Steve thirty-nine and Gabe five. They were visiting Jersey Shore she wanted to introduce her son to the Ocean and had never been to the East Coast. During their visit to the shore her son swam out a bit to far in search for “Bikini Bottom” She was able to save him  as she handed him off to her husband Steve her feet got caught in an old fish net, before it took her under she told Steve she was so thankful it was her out there instead of the alternative. The cost of coming home without her son was a deadly one.

She was preceded  in death by her grandmother Norma and her two boys who were twins Gabe and Will who died shortly after birth.

Lucky To Be Alive, Father Dan (wife Lin), Mother Patty  (husband Larry), sibilings by oldest Nate wife (Tabitha)Jeramey, Tim and Jacob

Her funeral will be held at Liberty Island, New York, NY Statue of Liberty National Monument at midnight where we will throw her ashes out into the water from the torch. Before “The Toss” fireworks will light up the night sky and there will be a BANG!

Family · Grandma · love · memories

Million Dollar Night Gown

shelie2711 Comments

As a young girl my grandma helped my dad out a lot on the weekends. When my dad had to work. On Friday’s she would come to get me and my brother.

My grandma was a bit more laid back then my father with getting our way. We’d   go shopping for clothes, toys, and out to eat. You know the things most grandmas do?

She always enjoyed having us stay over.

The second you walked into her house it was like walking into a different world. She would greet us with a smile and hug. My childhood troubles would be lifted like a book-bag loaded with seven or eight books at her door. She would ask questions about our lives. What our you working on in school? Do you like your teacher? hows your dad been? I would answer her questions but tell her more about the bullies in my life. She’d  quietly waited til I was done talking and tell me she was sorry to hear those things and that she loved me and to her I was special.

All the way up into my late twenties we continued to have a healthy relationship. I would still go over and stay all night. We continued shopping, going out to eat, and taking long drives, especially in the fall to see all the leaves changing colors.

In Illinois we have lots of trees one on top of the other so our falls here are stunning it’s worth the while. Sometimes we would just stay in. Those times were my favorites because we would talk for hours about her past with my grandpa, my future, shed tell me stories about her siblings, and all the places  she traveled with her friends George and Dorothy.

During those times around her house my “Grams a Million” would always wear her night-gown. She dressed up to the nines when she went out. The clothes she wore she liked but some of them not so comfortable so if she was home she always had her night-gown on.

The gown was slick and light. They were not attractive at all. She had a million of them in a million different colors. They had a peasant low-cut neck, if you didn’t tie it with the dull drab strings, you could see some of her pale chest. The sleeves were short and airy, they had bolts of red, blue, and purple all over that looked liked streaks of lighting.

The backdrop of the gowns were black which made her blue eyes, pale skin, and short dark hair standout. The gown stopped below her knees. she was short and you could see her skinny white legs. She was always barefoot when she was home. Which I loved. To me it said she wasn’t in a hurry. You could take off your shoes and stay awhile.

Many late evenings when we were lounging around watching the Golden Girls in her night gowns. I sat and watched her rocking in her orange chair. knowing that one day this time would no longer be… Maybe that was odd but its the truth. We have to embrace that our loved ones will not be with us on earth forever.

I am so thankful and blessed for the twenty-eight years we had together.

Shortly after her passing I was able to go over to her house by myself. I walked through the house slowly touching and going over everything she had worked hard for all her. Like I was in a museum of old artifacts listening to her explain all the details of each piece. I thought it would bother me seeing it all packed and piled high.

At the end of my journey picking through things wondering if I should take this or that… With a deep sigh, I walked into her room, opened her drawer full of night-gowns, Anyone  would do. She wore them all. I grabbed her old photo albums, laid across her bed, admiring her younger years, and pretending she was there with me.

When I left that day I took her one night-gown with me because it was my Million Dollar Treasure.

Family · Home · love

A bit off on a bunny trail

shelie273 Comments

So the morning came again just as it always does and for that I am grateful.

My little guy is in preschool my husband got him on the bus this morning.I got to sleep in, after they left I contemplated getting up but laid there and fell asleep for another hour. When hubs got back he laid down a page in a book he had been reading. He told me he was going up to keep his dad busy at the hospital while his mom got a little procedure done. He wasn’t gone for no more than an Hour and a half. He has been of work again for about a week. He works in a place with children who have handicaps he has been able to hold down this job for almost three years which is remarkable for him. Your probably thinking well he should be holding down a job regardless of what the job is to take care of his family but that is not how its been for us. I do believe where he is at now in his mental stability is where he will stay because he has been through lots of therapy pretty much from the beginning of our relationship and plans to keep going.

When we met he had been out of the Army for almost two years. He spent most of his eight years in war zones give or take a few. Lots of people in my life don’t like to hear his excuses but that is okay its “Him and me” Not us and everybody else” also at this point in the game I am done defending our relationship. This last few years we have been really enjoying the marriage, we attend some church activities together along with some friendships we have required, we both our pretty spiritual so we talk about books we read that strengthen our walk with the lord, sometimes when were not to tired we enjoy watching a good movies than discussing them, if were really lucky we get to go out on a date without the boy, though it has been few and far between we appreciate those times even more.

So for the time being he is on what they call “alternative leave” where he gets paid but they investigate him for the way he had to put someone in a restraint recently, which this is the third time this year! Of course each one there were no findings which there not going to find anything. This time another guy is involved so at least there are two of them telling the same story. The good thing here is were both fed up with these accusations but understand they must look into them, but we have decided that after this investigation when they call him back he will just be putting in his two weeks last time we went through this was a bit long drawn out and agonizing only because it is scary especially when you have your own family at home your trying to take care of also we believe we have been through enough as a couple were not going to let this job tear us apart.

So we choose “us” in the words of my mom Lynn “We made choices that people didn’t like but it wasn’t for them it was for us”

So with this said I am back to work full-time and during his paid time off, for now he is taking care of the boy. Thank god for the “Tin Can that is cheap living it will get us through for now because “A House is made of brick and stone a Home is made of love Alone” It may be a cliché but its true love has got me through up till now and I believe it will hold strong!

Children · Family · Home · love

More free writing

shelie277 Comments

WIN_20140411_085825Today was a good day little man and I slept in a bit, actually a lot oops! We didn’t make it to preschool but we had a nice talk about his picture, he and his dad made the night before last. He told me they were fishing with sunshine and blue skies the picture was pretty detailed for a four-year old. My husband helped him a bit,but you can tell the picture was made by him for the most part.

Then we tackled getting cleaned up, dressed and ready for the day. We fed the animals as in the bird, dog and cat the kitty is an outdoor cat who choose all of us for some reason?  after this we turned on a Dailey carton he loves to watch but he decided to bring his color crayons and book over to me to show me a maze except he had to ask me what they were called? We went over how to do them. He made sure there wasn’t a single maze left undone after he had caught on!

We didn’t go outside today together and I can’t tell you why? These days were into our cycle which is a three wheel contraption that sits real low to the ground, yesterday I had my fill of up, down, around, get over here, stay out of their day but still loved watching him have a hay day! We should have went outside it was so pretty. A bit of a warm breeze was coming in through the window, the sun was shining high there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I love days like these and hate all kinds of storms especially the kind in life that throw you for a loop and it takes you a bit to put your feet back on the ground.

When my son was born I was still going through a ton of grief. It took a toll on me but our relationship from the start was interrupted. When they pulled him out it took him about three minutes for him to cry, his dad looked terrified my arms were stretched out, tied down with a huge blanket blocking my view it took only a minute for all those emotions to start flooding in. When he did cry my numbness had already taken over its amazing what the mind and body do for you in the deepest darkest moments of your life. They briefly showed him to me then carried him off to make sure everything was okay with him. Which never bothered me in the least. When you lose not one baby but two you get real used to not being able to hold them it had already been my way of life.

When they finally got me all clean, stitched up and to my room they asked me if I would like them to go get my baby. I remember looking up at the nurse and saying what? She came over to my bed with complete understanding and said again with a smile do you want me to go get him so you can hold him. He is so beautiful congratulations. Yes please bring him to me. When he came in she said would you like to try to feed him which was a bit hard for us to get down so we just skipped that part this time around.

The next evening took another turn when I was burping him he starting turning blue the nurse came down looked at him told me they had to take him down to the neonatal unit when they came back about a half hour later to tell me his oxygen was going down into the thirties, it would rise back up but still was very dangerous so until he could learn to maintain he would have to stay with them. They ran test and determined that he would eventually grow out of this phase he will have to learn to maintain his oxygen on his own but needed to be observed this took four weeks when he came home it was everything but happy.

You see I never got the memo that after you lose a baby in my case babies, when you have another one it is a simple reminder of the high cost you could possibly pay and it takes a toll on a woman. So for two or three years I have walked on eggshells in the beginning it was his bottles he would gag a bit too much for my comfort, then it was his tantrums he would get so mad his lips would turn blue oh how I held my breath too, then he started eating solids and every bite he took was similar to me standing on a cliff, he started climbing up the monkey bars I said that’s it I can’t take it! I still took care of him like a mother should but with caution, my guard up and a bit of apprehensive of the future.

He felt this as well. I know he did because when I brought him home he would just cry it wasn’t  your normal cry like he was un happy either just basically more or less I really don’t like you cry. As tense as I was during those times, I cannot blame him.

Today we still bump heads mostly because were at that age, he helps himself to the fridge and I yell you need to ask instead of oh god don’t eat that! He ate a bag of skittles on his own the other day and plays at the park as free as a lark and although life has been very dark he pointed out in his drawing look mama look at the blue skies Yes babe your so right. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

 

Family · Home · love

Good Food

shelie279 Comments

 The memories of my childhood with my dad as a little girl. Stand out like the bright sun in a rainstorm! I suppose its because of his loving spirit and the way he has lived his life out through example instead of preaching.

He always had supper on the table most nights and we would always sit down together no matter how simple they were. The table was always cleared off never has it “…caught” anything but good food and conversation. However we did enjoy fast food quite often. He would grab it on the drive home or decide afterwards and we would all go pick it up together.

One night always revisit my thoughts.

We drove over to the local Dq  he puts in the order and we pull around. He puts the car in park tells us their pretty busy tonight after about ten minutes the lady give us our food my dad does his bag check as always hands the bag to my brother and proceeds to sit their just looking at the lady. She said sir what did we forget my dad says do you want your money? she laughs and says omg! Thank you so much sir.

When he drives off of course we chuckle and ask him why didn’t you just pull away dad we could have had a free meal? No it wouldn’t have been right you guys! Our dishonesty could have gotten her fired. I don’t want to see no one lose their job over me…

My brother and I didn’t say much after his answer he has always been pretty firm. So there was no need to say more. Though that night has always spoken to me. Most of his parenting does speak to me now more in my life than ever before.

This story has been a bit harder for me to tell but I did not want to leave it out because it shows my two or three readers more about who he is. Even in his struggle he always did the right thing and I am so very proud of him. I realize that all my stories are part of the past but you are such a good story and I plan to tell of all the good food you gave us for the soul.

Family · Home · love · Twins

Grateful

shelie279 Comments

My little boy has a head full of dark brown wavy hair. I keep it cut short, it looks like a fitted helmet on his head. His eyebrows are dark and bushy, his brown eyes droop with long thick curled up lashes that you can ring out when wet, his skin is light brown an as smooth as ice, he has tiny dimples, and a smile that look as if he is trying to push out further. He is a complete doll.

The past six months we have set a bedtime hour a bit earlier so we can do some activities. He has started looking forward to this time and so have we. We read stories, sing a few songs, count and pray.Tonight we asked him to tell us a story of his own the story went something like this: ” The Spider crawled up mommy’s arm (using his two little chubby fingers he steps them up my arm) the rain came down splashed out the spider up came the sun and the spider lost his legs and could not walk”

After his story my husband starts reading a book one of my boys favorite books. He goes straight into the book not reading the title. My little guy says silly dad you forgot to read “Chuck and Friends” and he takes my husband back to the cover of the book. We all laugh for different reasons it was a good family moment. It plays back in my mind as I write it out and feels my heart with joy so thankful and glad to tuck it away in my time capsule in hopes he does the same. We start our counting from one to twenty trying to reach a pre school milestone. He gets stuck on thirteen and sixteen but other than that he is doing well and enjoys learning. He has got his own little accent he does while counting and laughs at himself all the way to twenty.

Tonight he was more wound up than usual. I warned him that we would cut it short if he did not straighten up, and of course being four he blew it. We told him we loved him and we would try again tomorrow. He started screaming bloody murder and chanting count, count, count. He eventually fell asleep he was so worn out it wasn’t long. I turned off the television, sat down on the couch and reflected.

I put the pen to paper so one day he can read about this memory and what he means to me as well.

I love you and try to say it many times over in hopes the words embed into your soul. If anything was gained when I lost your brothers it would be the value of life. Most so yours my little guy. I feel as though I can embrace our moments and in my soul know what they’re worth, because I know what it is like to be empty. To come home from a hospital after giving birth and have nothing, nothing in my arms to hold, nothing in the crib to place my eyes on, no baby to put baby clothes on, and milk but no baby to feed. This is the best way for me to explain such a feeling, at the end of the night while you say your prayer. My eyes survey the room at the toys on the floor, pictures on the wall, a bed filled up, with your beautiful head of hair showing. I graze my hand over your head and tilt mine back and say Oh Lord Thank you for filling me up. To you we are so grateful.