Day Six: A Character-Building Experience Today’s Prompt; Who’s the most interesting person or people you’ve met this year?
Do you prefer an open book or a mystery?
The most interesting person I have met this year is only what I have made her up to be. She prefers to play hide and seek, not only with who she is but with her words. If you read them over and over again, like any good book or movie, you can gather up pebbles she has dropped along the way.
The life she describes behind the screen as a wife, teacher, and friend looks nothing like the words she writes of a life of love she walked away from many miles down the road, and now is nothing but a hologram over her shoulder. She projects words out to her audience like an eagle gliding on an invisible air current.
My eyes fill with water enough to blur my vision, my throat tightens, and my heart goes out to her every time I read her words. I’m left wondering where she’s hiding, who she is, and how or if I should throw her a life jacket to help her out of the deep rough water she seems to be in.
I’m typically drawn to people with wounds.It’s my nature to pick them up and cradle them in my arms, swaying back and forth or side to side. I wish I could crawl inside the screen to figure out a way to help her go back to the era of which she speaks. However, I don’t want to forfeit the fantasy I have created so, for now, I will take the quilt my grandma stitched depicting the milestones of my life and lay it down where everything is green. A small emerald creek bubbles over the mossy rocks as the animals relish the cooling water. Green saplings delicately line each side of the creek, forming a canopy from the beaming sun. I find a tree to lean against and quietly read her poetry worthy of rustic frame thickly lined with white leaves and the backdrop of the place I described to you.
So the morning came again just as it always does and for that I am grateful.
My little guy is in preschool my husband got him on the bus this morning.I got to sleep in, after they left I contemplated getting up but laid there and fell asleep for another hour. When hubs got back he laid down a page in a book he had been reading. He told me he was going up to keep his dad busy at the hospital while his mom got a little procedure done. He wasn’t gone for no more than an Hour and a half. He has been of work again for about a week. He works in a place with children who have handicaps he has been able to hold down this job for almost three years which is remarkable for him. Your probably thinking well he should be holding down a job regardless of what the job is to take care of his family but that is not how its been for us. I do believe where he is at now in his mental stability is where he will stay because he has been through lots of therapy pretty much from the beginning of our relationship and plans to keep going.
When we met he had been out of the Army for almost two years. He spent most of his eight years in war zones give or take a few. Lots of people in my life don’t like to hear his excuses but that is okay its “Him and me” Not us and everybody else” also at this point in the game I am done defending our relationship. This last few years we have been really enjoying the marriage, we attend some church activities together along with some friendships we have required, we both our pretty spiritual so we talk about books we read that strengthen our walk with the lord, sometimes when were not to tired we enjoy watching a good movies than discussing them, if were really lucky we get to go out on a date without the boy, though it has been few and far between we appreciate those times even more.
So for the time being he is on what they call “alternative leave” where he gets paid but they investigate him for the way he had to put someone in a restraint recently, which this is the third time this year! Of course each one there were no findings which there not going to find anything. This time another guy is involved so at least there are two of them telling the same story. The good thing here is were both fed up with these accusations but understand they must look into them, but we have decided that after this investigation when they call him back he will just be putting in his two weeks last time we went through this was a bit long drawn out and agonizing only because it is scary especially when you have your own family at home your trying to take care of also we believe we have been through enough as a couple were not going to let this job tear us apart.
So we choose “us” in the words of my mom Lynn “We made choices that people didn’t like but it wasn’t for them it was for us”
So with this said I am back to work full-time and during his paid time off, for now he is taking care of the boy. Thank god for the “Tin Can that is cheap living it will get us through for now because “A House is made of brick and stone a Home is made of love Alone” It may be a cliché but its true love has got me through up till now and I believe it will hold strong!
My little boy has a head full of dark brown wavy hair. I keep it cut short, it looks like a fitted helmet on his head. His eyebrows are dark and bushy, his brown eyes droop with long thick curled up lashes that you can ring out when wet, his skin is light brown an as smooth as ice, he has tiny dimples, and a smile that look as if he is trying to push out further. He is a complete doll.
The past six months we have set a bedtime hour a bit earlier so we can do some activities. He has started looking forward to this time and so have we. We read stories, sing a few songs, count and pray.Tonight we asked him to tell us a story of his own the story went something like this: ” The Spider crawled up mommy’s arm (using his two little chubby fingers he steps them up my arm) the rain came down splashed out the spider up came the sun and the spider lost his legs and could not walk”
After his story my husband starts reading a book one of my boys favorite books. He goes straight into the book not reading the title. My little guy says silly dad you forgot to read “Chuck and Friends” and he takes my husband back to the cover of the book. We all laugh for different reasons it was a good family moment. It plays back in my mind as I write it out and feels my heart with joy so thankful and glad to tuck it away in my time capsule in hopes he does the same. We start our counting from one to twenty trying to reach a pre school milestone. He gets stuck on thirteen and sixteen but other than that he is doing well and enjoys learning. He has got his own little accent he does while counting and laughs at himself all the way to twenty.
Tonight he was more wound up than usual. I warned him that we would cut it short if he did not straighten up, and of course being four he blew it. We told him we loved him and we would try again tomorrow. He started screaming bloody murder and chanting count, count, count. He eventually fell asleep he was so worn out it wasn’t long. I turned off the television, sat down on the couch and reflected.
I put the pen to paper so one day he can read about this memory and what he means to me as well.
I love you and try to say it many times over in hopes the words embed into your soul. If anything was gained when I lost your brothers it would be the value of life. Most so yours my little guy. I feel as though I can embrace our moments and in my soul know what they’re worth, because I know what it is like to be empty. To come home from a hospital after giving birth and have nothing, nothing in my arms to hold, nothing in the crib to place my eyes on, no baby to put baby clothes on, and milk but no baby to feed. This is the best way for me to explain such a feeling, at the end of the night while you say your prayer. My eyes survey the room at the toys on the floor, pictures on the wall, a bed filled up, with your beautiful head of hair showing. I graze my hand over your head and tilt mine back and say Oh Lord Thank you for filling me up. To you we are so grateful.