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December 27, 2015 shelie275 Comments

Longstockings, is in her mid forties. Years ago she developed a rare brain disease. The disease has affected her eyes, speech, and walking. It’s not a fatal disease but it has come with neurological problems.

You can’t walk past her room without her calling out your name to either show you some move she learned in exercise or to complain about the argument her and her mother had.

Her parents are involved in our home activities. Her mom helps the activity director with the residents when taking them to the Muni, fundraisers, Special Olympics, and she always helps me organize Longstockings room

Her siblings that live in our town will also show up to our chili supper, Christmas party, and once in a great moon to fix or give her something.

This particular brother that she had on the phone the other night lives In another state. He don’t get in as much as the others, however he will call, write, and send updated pictures to her.

He did make it to the home. He brought his wife and kids. They played a few games in then went out for pizza!

Reminder

December 25, 2015December 25, 2015 shelie2710 Comments

I was in a residents room giving her, her medicine. She asked me to write down a phone number her brother had left on her answering machine. I was just about to push play when the phone rang. I answered the phone “Longstckings room”

“This is her brother, can she come to the phone”?

“Sure”

I handed the phone to her and she motioned me to wait there till she got off the phone. I stood listening to their conversation about how he would be home this year for Christmas. She had a smile from ear to ear on her red flushed face. She asked him how his kids were doing, his wife, and how long he would be here. She answered back “Oh wow” and quickly her voice changed and her smile came down a few notches “I know you have to see your wife’s side of the family too.” The next questioned he asked was what she wanted for Christmas? She paused for a minute then said she could use a photo album, cold coffee, and cookies. She then said “you know what you could really do for me”?

Bring the girls to the home and can all go down to the dining room and listen to you play a few songs on the piano.

Twins · Uncategorized

Fairytale

November 26, 2015 shelie277 Comments

One Liner Wednesday

Twin boys, once upon a time.

Home

The Be Thankful Challenge

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015 shelie279 Comments

Raphaela, has nominated me for the Be Thankful Challenge. Thank you for this honor.

Challenge Rules

Share this image in your blog post

Write about five people in your life you are thankful for
Write about five things in 2015 that you are thankful for
Spread the love and challenge five other blogs to take part

Five people in my life that I’m thankful for.

*My husband Steve, he gave me my son and also his ears. I have told him more than one dark secret. He listens like a hunter hunting a deer. I am thankful he still here.

* My son, he has brought the joy to my life. I blurt out in song all the time when we’re home, tonight he is under the weather. I was giving him cough medicine while singing “a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down the medicine go down the medicine go down” Mom, I’m tired of you singing all the time. I let out a wine and made a sad face. Mom, I still love you, I just don’t feel like hearing you sing right now…

*My mom Linda, she has taught me how to look inside myself and others. “It’s who we are there that counts” this may sound a bit off the bunny trail… I have this head full of hair, it is black, thick, kinky, course, and grows out instead of down. Years ago before developing vitiligo (which turns the skin milky white I’m one hundred percent covered now) people would refer to me as mixed with black and white. We lived in small towns during my childhood. I got the worst of one world. I won’t go into it because I have already. I’m just trying to help you understand Linda. I suppose living in the small town we do now people see my hair and may think I have something in me. My son the other day came home and told me “I was not his mom because he was white and I’m black” I told him that I was not black and changed the subject. This brought back triggers of being younger. I didn’t want to make my thoughts his thoughts. I called my mom later and she said you just tell him “so what it does not matter what color I’m” I forget myself at times that it don’t matter if people think this. The only reason it hurt me is because of my past. I’m thankful that she reminds of the person I’m instead of labels people put on me.

* For readers on this platform who have encouraged me to continue writing and told me it’s okay to write whatever you want. You don’t have to have a plan. Write about what happened during your day, whats going on right now, or what Gabe says “readers love to hear about what kids say” These comments have taken the pressure off, given me fuel to write, and not feel as though I need to impress the world.

*For my dad, he is a believer and has pushed me all through life. He never lets me talk down to myself. When I did he would build me up. I took a class three years ago out at the community college. I had to gather lots of information from my past because I needed proof to get the help they offered for my organization skills. It brought me back to who I let people believe I was then. I made several calls to him during this class because of the nice comments the teachers would make about my writing. I was always shocked because I had never had anyone else comment on my work or what I put into it, except for him. At the end of the class she pulled me aside and told me she had enjoyed reading my work. She wanted to publish one of my papers into a college art book. I decided against it because it had to go through a board and they had the last decision. I did not want to take the chance of having my balloon popped. The gesture was enough. When I told my dad, I cried because of everything I went through how kids treated and talked about me. My dad said “they were kids then Shelley they are not the same people anymore you still think people think that way about you and they don’t” he also said I had a hidden talent and I should continue to write. Here I-am on my two-year anniversary!

Five Things I am grateful for

*Ears for those who listen

*Joy during grief

*Wisdom for the long haul

*Support when the going gets rough

*Love to light the way

I nominate the following to take part in the challenge

1. Raspberry Daydreams

2. TheLoneRose

3. My Weary Mind

4. Dear lily June

5. smiling Notes

memories

10 Minutes Ago

November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 shelie275 Comments

I gave Emmet her medicine. She asked me to look up a song by Skeeter Davis. The name of the song is called “Oh The Loneliness Goes On And On And On”. I could not find it anywhere for her on YouTube? I asked if she knew the album it could be on, she shook her had no. She asked me to name the albums that did come up. I named the albums plus a few of the songs on each one, one of the songs were “Tell Laura I Love Her”. She asked me to play that and then play “The Answer Song”.

Me: What is “The Answer Song”

Emmet: “Tell Tommy I Love Him”

If you haven’t listened to them, you should, sometime.

I found the song and played it for her. My curiosity got the best of me as I sat and watched her sing the song word for word, her neck tilted, and her hands on her heart.

Me: Emmett, do you think of anyone in-particular when you listen to all these love songs by Skeeter Davis?

Her: Yes, well I used to anyway. We broke up a while back ago. You remember Archy Bunker?

Me: Yes Emmett, I do. What happened with you two?

Emmett: I can’t talk about it, it wouldn’t be right.

Me: Ooo, come on

Emmett: Well on our “last Date” (which by the way is another song by Skeeter Davis) Archy, he passed gas and the Odor was too much…

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I wrote

November 10, 2015November 10, 2015 shelie273 Comments

The last post to build more story, Does anyone else use this method?

It was hard trying to keep some sort of normalcy for Gabe while “Saltine Cracker” was fighting for his life. My friend Audra, named her, her first name. We finished her middle and last. We bought her at Pet Smart when she was Ten weeks old. She had light green feathers, two or three red feathers under her right-wing, a black tail, with a black cap head and a sweet disposition. Gabe ruffled those green feathers of hers one to many times. Towards the end of her life if she was out of her cage. She enjoyed sitting by him and watching his every move. When he “tried” to pick her up she would peck him! She loved my husband because he was the one who held her, cleaned her cage, and fed her. Steven acted like he always does during sad times. The middle wrinkle on his forehead gets bigger, his face looks clammy, he shuts down, and always look as if he’s about to flee the scene. When I asked him if he was okay he said he was feeling stressed out and he hated to see Saltine die.

When calling my mom for comfort, she asked me if we were taking care of the bird. She said when she was here last the bird was picking at itself. First off, that is what birds do, it’s called Preening. Lets just say when my moms bird died it had lost all its feathers. Saltine was loaded to the gills with feathers! My parents did not like the bird. They said it was the source for Gave and I always being sick.

My friend Audra had lost her cat the night before, my friend Nico lost her gecko, minutes before my bird died. I felt uncanny about how close together they all died and wondered if something was in the air. I mentioned my thoughts to Steve, he didn’t say much. I have to watch my thoughts. My anxiety gets the best of me. This last year I have had panic attacks. I TAKE medicine for them but it doesn’t ALWAYS help. I have heard if a bird drops dead it is usually the sign of a gas leak. At one point during this turmoil I just knew the air in our home was looking smokey, everything around me was blurry, and my stomach was bilious. I couldn’t tell you what snapped me out of it, maybe the medicine?

I had also taken a pregnancy test this same night and we found it negative. We have been trying for another baby for about three years now and haven’t had any news. We are not devastated just disappointed. It’s hard to believe the sun is going down on this part of my life.

Stay tuned

Family · Home

Crying-Out-Loud

November 9, 2015 shelie2732 Comments

Last night cooking supper I noticed our bird hanging upside from his food bowl. I gave our parrot a smile and continued fixing our supper. When I walked by the cage again he was sitting on the bottom with his green feathers puffed out. I stood at his cage for a moment staring in on him. He usually don’t sit in one place at the bottom of his cage. He either rubs his beak trying to get something off or he’s picking food off his floor. I read one time in a parrot pamphlet, “its abnormal behavior for them to be sitting on the bottom” I bent down opened his door and grabbed him out to take a closer look. When I put him on my finger he didn’t clinch it with his tight sharp grip, I embraced him in my hand and gently flipped him over to check out his feet thinking he may of hurt one, this was not the case. He did not fight me at all while accessing him and upon noticing this my heart started beating faster, thoughts racing and it was getting harder to focus. I then notice him opening his beak but nothing was coming out, not a chirp or peck. There was a bit of food on his beak which calmed me down, for a second thinking this was the problem. Unfortunately, he was still struggling to breath. I put him back down realizing he was on his way out, opened the back door where my husband hangs out on the deck and chain smokes. “Steve the bird is dying, what the hell did you do to him”? My husband being his calm self “nothing” he continued to puff away as the door slammed! It took a minute to start rationalizing because of hurt and panic. I knew he was dying and also new that it was too late in the game to head into town to the vet. The last time one of my animals went into respiratory distress. I got to the office, handed him over to the vet, as he started toward the back to check him out, the kitten died. The vet billed me for the hand off…

When Steven came in, I shared my thoughts on the subject, he did not disagree. We took Saltine in our room to pass. I felt this was to heavy for Gabe to know and watch.”Salty” died minutes later. I cried the rest of the time cooking supper my husband called out my name which was a prompt to “get a hold of myself'” I still stood at the sink slowly washing dishes with my back turned to my son. He then started telling me a story and when he was done. He asked me a question about his story. When I wouldn’t turn around he started digging his way in front of the sink and me “mom answer my question” ( I would have if I knew what he had asked).

“mom are you crying over my story”

“yes with a loud wail”

Family · Home · memories

Million Dollar Night Gown

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 shelie27Leave a comment

This post is older. I wanted to share it with you. I have gained three or four more followers since. I also wanted to thank all of you for following me and all your encouragement. You know how to make a gal feel welcome.. I have enjoyed your journey’s as well and look forward to many more of your post. Thanks again.

Life In My Tin Can

As a young girl my grandma helped my dad out a lot on the weekends. When my dad had to work. On Friday’s she would come to get me and my brother.

My grandma was a bit more laid back then my father with getting our way. We’d go shopping for clothes, toys, and out to eat. You know the things most grandmas do?

She always enjoyed having us stay over.

The second you walked into her house it was like walking into a different world. She would greet us with a smile and hug. My childhood troubles would be lifted like a book-bag loaded with seven or eight books at her door. She would ask questions about our lives. What our you working on in school? Do you like your teacher? hows your dad been? I would answer her questions but tell her more about the bullies in…

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Children · friendship

The Other Night

November 4, 2015November 4, 2015 shelie272 Comments

Keeps re-playing in my mind.

It was supper time at work and two other people were working with me. Things were to quiet and I felt uncomfortable. I let out this loud random laugh. The guy serving looks at me and says “are you okay” “yes” in a quiet tone looking me deep in my eyes he says “are you sure” uh yea I’m fine thanks! after asking for the second time I realized his question was sarcastic.. I feel bad and dumb about laughing out loud. There wasn’t any reason for me to do such a thing. It must have made him think it was directed towards him and I guess it was.

We live in a duplex and my neighbors just had a baby I can hear her crying over there and I want to run over and ask if I can hold her.

My friend Allison just called. She told me on Halloween her and her family made hot chocolate for Trick-or-Treaters, next year she said they’re going to grill hotdogs for everyone who wants one because when she was Trick-or-Treating with her kids she got hungry walking around with them. She didn’t have time to eat after she got off work. She thinks this will help a lot of parents out in their travels…

Last night Gabe was playing with his tablet before bed. On his tablet screen was the weather and the dark night full of bright stars. I watched as he held it up looking into the night on the screen and says…

“I wish a may I wish I might have this wish I wis tonight”

“I wish for all the Pokemon cards in the whole wide world”

Uncategorized

Monster Meet and Greet Mash

October 28, 2015 shelie274 Comments

Thank you for having the Monster Meet And Greet Mash and for letting me share a link. I mainly write what I feel about experience I have been through in life and what they have taught me. https://shellb27.wordpress.com/2015/09/24/foster-care/ Thanks again!

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